Overwhelmed and shamed .

So I’m a fairly sexually open person . I consider myself straight but have a kink of getting wierd as fuck when I get ….invigorated artificially. And have had several encounters of submitting to other men and being somewhat forced to like it . But I scared even myself awhile back when I did an ungodly amount of sexual enhancer of my own variety and suddenly was erect and unable to move hardly from orgasms and shockwaves in a house of gay men and cameras I’m pretty sure. I begged for abuse. And got it. Tag teamed bound blindfolded cold water torture choked everything. And came so hard I almost went black. I like dominating girls or subbing for them sometimes but I feel like no girl is gonna gave any sexual cravings for me just based off they seem to pick up the energy I’m unsure of myself . I need a girl to feel accomplished in life . But I’m stuck. Help

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