Rimming, the joys and pleasures explained

Sometimes their ass looks good enough to eat, doesn’t it?

And I say: EAT IT. Rimming is one of my personal favourite sexual activities. It quenches parts of my mind-body-and-soul that I didn’t know existed before I’d tried it.

For those of you who aren’t privy to what I am talking about, ‘Rimming’ (or ‘Analingus’, by dictionary definition) is the act of stimulating the anus and surrounding areas with your tongue and/or mouth—and sometimes the teeth. It’s a version of oral sex especially for the anus and is fucking fabulous.

The erotic act of rimming is a unique way to quench sexual thirst, relax the anus, and indulge in your partner’s body. Commonly known as ass-eating or rim-jobs, it can be animalistic, it can be slow and sensual… or it can be both! And as with most sexual practices, knowing a thing-or-two about it before indulging not only makes rimming more fun—it makes it more comfortable.

Why explore rimming?

Why lick a butthole? Well, rimming came naturally to me. When I am going down on a man, giving one of my award-winning blowjobs, I feel the instinctive urge to take my tongue and massage his anus. I’d describe it as a very organic, carnal urge that leads me past his perineum and to his anus.

The truth is, it feels gorgeous with the sensation ever-changing throughout the experience. In the beginning it feels ticklish as it awakens all of those deliciously sensitive nerve-endings that are in-and-around the anus. It eventually becomes a warm and sumptuous massage around a spongey, relaxed hole—due to the warm and moist tongue massaging the anus into being tender and receptive. This is what makes rimming a fantastic way to prepare for penetrative anal play. Personally, anal sex feels much better if I’ve been eaten out before being penetrated.

There’s no sexual practice out there that’s for everyone. Sometimes, certain acts just don’t turn us on and that’s absolutely fine. But I find that the relationships humans have with toilet humour and germaphobia is what prevents most people from giving rimming a shot.

There’s a unique intimacy to rimming that dips its toes into the realms of taboo, due to nature’s purpose of the anus. A sense of intense intimacy is reached, due to the fact that someone’s face is between the others bottom cheeks, and their tongue is touching a ‘forbidden’ zone. Toilet humour is such a big part of modern society, that we are trained to believe that butt holes are a no-go due to their natural functions: to release poop and gas.

Hygiene

This brings me to hygiene. When it comes to discussing intimate hygiene, it should always come down to two things: communication and preference. If you’re curious about trying rimming for the first time, and your partner isn’t fresh out of a shower and you’d prefer that, then I don’t necessarily see anything wrong with asking them to have a quick wash. Or, if you’re shy and baby-stepping into the process, why not suggest showering together?

There are levels of extremity with all types of sex and this also applies to rimming. Some people enjoy rimming when the person is unwashed—and that’s OK as long as it’s what both partners want. Some people prefer the anus to be shaven smooth and others like the hair being involved. There’s a fine line between ‘don’t knock it until you’ve tried it’ and instinctively knowing what you find erotic, so don’t be afraid to (politely) communicate your preferences. I know far too many people who’ve been turned off of anal play by doing things wrong and by not communicating their preferences and boundaries. Remember that consent is sexy and communication is the best accessory you can bring into the bedroom.

Personally? I like it to be feel confident that my partner is clean and I couldn’t care about hair. I like clean but I don’t want to taste soap as I go down on a man—I want to taste him. This is also why I don’t recommend using a flavoured lube to begin with, and not because I have any issue with them. But the best way to know if you enjoy something, is to experience it as organically as possible alongside taking it slowly.

So rimming, how do I do it?

Similar to giving blowjobs and going down on a vulva, rimming is about how you utilise your mouth, tongue, lips, teeth—alongside moisture, movement, and positioning. You live, you learn, and most importantly: you enjoy it!

A great position to rim for the first time would be to get your partner to lay on their front and place a folded pillow underneath their crotch, which will arch their butt cheeks into the air and give you access to easily spread their buttocks open for exploration.

Begin with gentle strokes across the anus, up-and-down, using your tongue. The first thing you’ll notice is the taste of skin (which is incredibly erotic) with the anus itself has a subtle metallic taste which is not too dissimilar to the taste of labia lips.

When you’re doing it, experiment with rhythm, pressure, and speed. Don’t be afraid to run your tongue around the perineum (the gap between the genitals and anus) as this sensation is gorgeous for the receiver.

I always find the best way to progress during rimming is to focus on how tight the anus feels during and place your focus into making this tight ring gradually feel spongey and elastic as you go. Experiment with ‘tonguing’ the hole as well as using your lips and tongue to ‘snog’ the hole. Mixing it up keeps things exciting.

Other considerations when rimming

Personally, I use my hands to stimulate the body as I go. Reach for their nipples, massage their butt cheeks, stimulate their genitals, as well as use your hands to spread the buttocks to get your tongue even deeper. If I am rimming a guy, I’ll be filling my hands with spit and wanking him off as I go—replicating the rhythm of my tongue. This delivers an all-encompassing sense of stimulation that’s impossible to ignore. I’m also a fan of gently running my fingertips all over his inner-thighs and torso as I do it, giving a super-sensual ‘body worship’ sensation that makes the whole-body tingle.

Rimming can last 2-minutes or rimming can last 45. It’s up to you. Pay attention to your partner’s responses and body language, and let this be your guide. And, if you want to be great at it, I’ve always found the best way to be incredible at oral stuff is to enjoy it. Our partners often ‘feel the love’ we are giving them. I know I do, anyway.

Please feel free to reach out and let me know how rimming goes for you, or if you have any more questions about ass-eating. My DM’s and email inbox are always open.

About the author

Topher Taylor

Topher Taylor is an award-winning sex educator and brand manager for Clonezone, the world’s biggest gay retailer. He has more than eleven years of experience in the adult industry; as a result, he’s somewhat of a ‘sexpert’, and can talk extensively about everything from porn and sex toy maintenance to industry trends and the benefits of using social media as a platform to discuss sex education.

Not only does Taylor discuss sex in a light-hearted, accessible way, he works consistently alongside journalists and editors to share his message of sex positivity with a wider audience.

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