The healing power of sexual creativity

Jonathan Aldfrith explains what erotic writing and sexual creativity has meant to him, how it helped him recover from major surgery and why he feels it is intrinsically linked to wellbeing.

It’s a pretty sobering thought when you hear the words: “If I don’t operate within the next few hours you will die.”

I didn’t die as that operation saved me. A tumour the size of a tennis ball was surgically removed along with a worrying amount of my insides.

But I was so, so lucky. The tumour proved to be benign. I just had to recover from a rather unpleasant operation.

I should make it clear right now that many readers will have experienced far worse than me and have gone through significantly more trauma, and so I won’t go into any more medical details. Moreover, this website is a glorious showcase of erotica and not a medical journal.

And it was this erotica that was to prove crucial in what happened next.

I started a convalescence which was to last several months. It wasn’t easy and recovery was painful and slow. At times I felt that I would never fully recover; I could tell that my surgeon was doubtful, too.

My energy levels remained low and I just couldn’t do much. I needed something to drag me out of this situation. And that is where erotica came in.

I usually exercise a fair bit but given my physical condition that was out of the question for months. I am an avid reader but just couldn’t keep my focus.

But there was one energy source left within me. A very visceral source. And one that I didn’t think had survived all I had been through.

One day while lying in bed feeling sorry for myself, I found myself drifting through some websites, not really reading anything, half focusing on content and drifting. Then I came across a feature about ethical porn. Unlike everything else that I’d been scanning, I read it in full. I had to shut my laptop pretty swiftly when the nurses came into my room to carry out a procedure.

But that article got me thinking and as soon as the nurses moved on I reread it several times.

When I left the hospital and was back at home, I checked out that website I had read about. (Yes, it was FrolicMe!) I dipped into the most gorgeous erotic films that you could ever hope to find and subscribed so I could see them in full.

Just watching the films made me feel more human again. My sexuality… and my sexual desire… was not only there, but eager. The films aroused me. Feelings stirred deep within. Rather than feeling for hour after hour nothing other than the gnawing, sapping presence of insidious pain, I was aware of a new sensation: being turned on, feeling hot (not feverish hot, but sexy hot).

I felt my unexpected hardness. It was there, as it used to be, standing proudly erect above all the scars nearby. I was truly alive again.

Sex has always been a massive part of me. So has creativity. The two first came together several decades ago with a short story I wrote for a magazine called Forum, which older UK readers may recall with affection.

As I thought about that first story, and as I enjoyed more of the great films here, I wondered if I might try out erotic writing again. It just worked. After a few false starts, I reconnected with my inner sexual creativity and voice. The words came readily as I began to fantasize and recollect memorable moments from the films. It was the smallest details—a shared glance, a smile, a stroke, a laugh—that did it for me. It was those expressions of humanity, of life, of fun that proved the real sparks that ignited my imagination.

Now, I can’t judge whether my writing is up to much, I’ll leave that up to readers, but it soon became apparent that it was helping to heal me. It gave me a purpose. It restored my energy. It gave me back my drive… and I started to get better.

Much better.

The more I wrote, the more energy I had. The more energy I had, the better I became. The surgeon remarked a few months later that I had progressed more than he thought possible (he was convinced my recovery had plateaued).

And I am utterly convinced that erotic writing was the reason for all this.

You can see the results of some of my writing here.

This link between sexuality, creativity and well being is something I stumbled upon in a moment of dire need and I just wonder if there are others out there who have similar experiences?

For me, FrolicMe has been a lifeline and I cannot thank Anna enough for letting me write for her magnificent website. Hopefully, I can share more of my creative work here in the future, if it’s good enough—of course!

About the author

Jonathan Aldfrith

Jonathan wrote his first piece of erotic fiction over thirty years ago for Forum magazine. Since then he has spent most of his life writing for businesses. He hadn’t thought about returning to the erotic genre until he found himself stuck with time on his hands while recovering from major surgery. He happened to come across FrolicMe while surfing on the internet in between check-ups by his nursing team, and instantly identified with the quality of the films, the standard of the writing and ethos of the whole project. Indeed Jonathan puts his recovery down to his return to creative writing. It gave him a focus in dark times and also gave him renewed energy. He firmly believes there is a connection between creativity, wellbeing and sexual expression and very much hopes FrolicMe’s members enjoy his stories as much as he enjoys writing them.

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