The time I was cockblocked by a fat Asian guy named “ping”

Since you guys seem to get a kick out of my sexual misfortune, here’s a story that happened just over a year ago with my current girlfriend. I invited her over to my place about a week after we began dating. My parents had gone out to a Christmas party, so we were home alone with my younger brother (we were 17, he was 15.) He was in his bedroom playing Xbox with his friends, wearing a headset, plus he didn’t really give a shit about anything, so my girlfriend and I went straight to my room, and she started giving me head. We were both virgins at the time and wanted to lose our V-cards to each other, so after a few minutes I asked if she wanted to fuck. She said sure, and started undressing. This was our first time, so things weren’t exactly going smoothly. I was trying to put a condom on, while she was struggling to take off her leggings, they’d gotten stuck around her ankles. Eventually we got ready, and decided our best bet was doggystyle. She bent over the bed, as I tried to get my dick in. Heads up fellas, fitting your big, yet virgin dick in a virgin who’s tighter than a noose, and then choosing a position where you can’t really see what’s going on isn’t a good idea. After trying to get in a handful of times, I finally felt my head pop inside her. Before I could even make my first thrust, the doorbell rang. We both froze. My brother did mention earlier that he might have friends over, were they here? Were we about to get caught with our pants around our ankles by a group of 15 year old boys? I quickly pulled my pants on while my girlfriend dove behind my computer chair, for some reason, and started putting her bra on. (I still make fun of her to this day for thinking that a computer chair would be a good hiding spot.) While she was getting dressed, I went out to see who was there, only to find my brother coming up over the stairs by himself. I ask him what’s going on, and he responds with “my homie, ping, brought me McDonald’s!” Holding up a McDonald’s delivery bag. I run back to my room, where my girlfriend is now fully clothed, and look out the window. Sure enough, there’s a really fat Asian dude getting into a car at the end of my driveway. It’s ping. “What are you looking at?” My girlfriend asks. I respond with nothing but “ping” as she leans in next to me to see his shitty Honda Civic drive away. We ended up losing our virginities to each other a few weeks later, and we’re still together to this day, just over a year and a month now. Our sex life is much better, the sex is much better, we’re basically certified pros now. We eventually told my brother what happened that night, which I regret, because he still makes fun of us for getting cockblocked by ping, the fat Asian delivery driver.

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